Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Making Good Choices

Don't you think that, as grown-ups, it's our responsibility to make good choices? I mean, I realize no one ever teaches us how to do this... (well, maybe Experience teaches us, if we are paying attention.) I think it's up to us to LEARN all the little nuances, the facts, that are important in the decision. Then, we must weigh them carefully... Consider the circumstances, the precedences, the alternatives.... Mentally live out the affects of our choices. And most especially, if these choices affect another human being - or. her. child. - most especially then, the decision should not be judged quickly, carelessly. Most despicably, decisions should not fall along social lines, or to satisfy an immature need to "stick it to 'em," or to derive power, to show dominance over another.

Even more, if one is given the responsibility to govern. over. another., oh please, please, do not make haste. Do not pre-judge. Do not choose before you are given the choice. It is NOT your right, your privilege to tell another what she can or cannot do; nor should you stand in her way or put up roadblocks to her endeavors, especially when it comes to growing her children, to raising her family, to making choices for those little souls with whom she was entrusted.

Do not wear your church on your chest like a badge, and at the same time, show no compassion for a family. Do not boast of your accomplishments, and not reach out your hand to hold another up. Do not express false concern, and contrive when out of sight. Do not speak untruths in attempts at persuasion. Do not choose out of spite. And most certainly, do not rejoice in another's defeat, even privately.  

Rather, consider as if you were she choosing for you. What would you want her to weigh heavily? What would you expect her to do for you? What choice would you have her make if it were your child? Your family? What hurtful things would you not want said after you left the room? 

I think they call this "do onto others as you would have done onto you". 

Who would you expect to put a stop to ugly words? Hasteful motions? Changes in protocal? Arrogant exclaimations? Who would you expect to stand up for your rights as a parent? Who would you expect to stand up for your child?

Whether you expected it or not, she would.  And so would I.


  1. Yikes Patty. I hope things will be okay...

  2. Patty,
    You are a strong woman and a great mother and wife! I admire you for being able to put into words what most people just get frustrated about and say nothing.

  3. You are like a mother lioness taking care of your cubs and all the neighbor cubs too. I am so thankful to be able to glimpse the world through your eyes.

    And you make a mean fondue!