I've recently been back in touch with my college roommate. She and I are like soul-mates, and as we catch up, and I hear the parallels in our lives even though we were absent from each other, this fact is reconfirmed.
We had a conversation about "repressed" parts of ourselves. And it started me thinking. I don't think I have ANY repressed parts. This is what I mean when I say I know my heart. I am fully aware of every feeling, every thought that passes through me. And I am always eager to share or to learn about your/his/her feelings and thoughts. In this way, I am fully exposed. Raw. And I feel hurt SO often, and am told how sensitive I am. You can call it sensitivity, but I am living. I am not denying any part of my being. Not my intellect, not my thoughts, not my passions, not my love. Not even my hurt. And I wonder why so many people have such a hard time with this? If I've hurt you, tell me. If you are angry with me, tell me. If I have scared you, tell me. If I have disappointed you, tell me. I promise to do everything within my power to make it right.
I guess it comes down to trust. We have to have a certain amount of trust in people that our thoughts and feelings will be respected, whether they are agreed with or not. Does this come with maturity? Does it come with familiarity? And how do we trust when we are starting from a point of pain or anger or fear or disappointment?
I say, just bite the bullet and dive in. There is no feeling in repressing, no living in hiding. There might be moments of panic, and uncertainty. But you will be able to find the surface. You will be able to move and breathe and feel refreshed and glad that you did.
Wow! I feel like I am sooo one with you right now. I constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY struggle with how sensitive I am...how I worry about such little things, especially when you deal with girls/women on a regular basis. I keep telling myself just to get a thicker skin, but I can't help it. It has gotten better as I've gotten older, but even in blog world, as you saw from that browneyed fox post, I get so "hurt" from blog friends you use to comment consistently on my blog, not visit/comment anymore but I see them comment elsewhere. So I wonder, what did I do?? Why aren't they anymore??
ReplyDeleteIsn't that terrible?? I feel so Jr. Highish feeling that way, but it's crazy! I can't seem to control it & obsessively worry about it. Any advice from one sensitive gal to another??
hello dancing queen: i've felt it, too. this is good advice, but to make your heart feel it is another thing: it's the trust thing again. we have to believe that there's good reason and it's not personal. life is crazy these days for all of us.... hey, isn't that a song? "tell it to my heart" :) i'll be over there soon!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pics Patty.....and I am so like you girls. I put myself out there and with that comes the possiblity of hurt. I'll take the chance. And I have to say Patty....that it what I love so much about you. You are so genuine, authentic....and vulnerable. Don't change! You give more women permission to do the same when you give yourself so unselfishly!
ReplyDeleteYou, once again, put into words what so many feel. I am glad to feel--when it isn't hurting too much! Loved the photos that accompanied your thoughts. You have the whole package going on here!
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